Eat Pray Love By Elizabeth Gilbert

I finished Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert on May 10, 2011. I found it at the house where I babysit. I read it while I was there at work, when I had some free time. It was a great read! It came at a most needed time in my life. I was gonna watch the movie and read the book later, when I had my hands on a copy. With were we are financially , I can't go and buy it yet. So it was a blessing that I was able to read it when I did.

The basic premise of this story is about Elizabeth Gilbert's path to happiness. It tells her story of a devastating divorce and her journey of getting to know God and herself by going to Italy, India, and Bali, spending 3-4 months in each country. I find that so inspiring and noble. She's a writer by profession and the way she writes this book is of particular interest to me. She writes in first person and it's got the feel of reading her personal journal. Knowing what she was thinking at a particular moment. She is so funny and witty. The characters in here are so real (probably because they are) and enjoyable.

She made me feel like I was with her traveling but getting a VIP pass into her thoughts and feelings. I thought the book would be kind of boring but it was anything but that. It does have some language in it and the "F" word a few times, but really inspirational and enlightening. She is honest and open about her experiences and her life.

She had all these wants and thoughts when so much horribleness was happening... why can't I do that especially when I have so much greatness in my life. I don't have to be recently divorced or childless to have these wants and pursue them. Granted I might have to work around them but it is possible.

At first I didn't think I would finish it that day because I didn't want to neglect the kids. I was able to finish it and that made me happy. I wanted to rush home and watch the movie. We ate dinner and I started watching it with Lilly on my laptop but I was getting frustrated with her because she kept trying to push the buttons. I asked Sam to take Lilly. (He was glad I asked him). To be honest, (and it's really no surprise) I didn't like the movie as much as I liked the book. In the book I had so much more access to what Gilbert was thinking and feeling. The movie had stuff in there that wasn't in the book. Now with reading about scriptwriting recently, I have more of a sense as to why they changed things for the movie but that doesn't mean they should have done it. It so much great content in it I don't know why they felt like they had to change or exaggerate anything.

The movie adaptation was pretty on the spot, though, with regard to dialogue. Almost too much so. It's probably because I just got done reading the book. Plus it just looked different in my imagination. I also could have missed some things. I probably sound condescending and flip floppy.

Reading the book gave me a look at my life. I believe, for the first time in a long time, I saw my potential potential (I mean that as in noun and adjective, like potentially seeing my potential). My dreams have just seemed out of reach lately. I need to be patient and do my best to make of the situation. I can find happiness and balance in my life. Looking at this life with an eternal perspective. It's not easily achieved but when that is considered, it makes trials a little bit more bearable.

Gilbert mentions going to Italy "pinched and thin" and through her experiences she's "gained weight." I look at that aspect, rather I apply it to my own life but flipped. I keep the weight and have kept the weight. I have a hard time letting things go. I have come into recent experiences that have made me keep and not let go. That's not healthy.

There is a quote in the book that really made me think. "...Overall satisfying life of motherhood, and marriage and career. " She is referencing her friend who is married, just had a baby and is an artist. I realized that I have 2/3 of these things. I'm missing a career. So I feel incomplete. Yes, I understand that both motherhood and marriage could be a career and I love both. I just want to feel success.

I did stray off my classic literature list when reading this book but it was worth it (like it's a big deal). It is a New York Times Bestseller and very popular. Gilbert's book has inspired me to be at peace with myself, to pray to God and to find pleasure even if it is small. This is definitely a keeper. When you have you in order, everything else will be in order.

Here are a few quotes that I really enjoyed from the book:

"It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live on imitation of somebody else's life with perfection." -The Bhagavad Gita

"You are given life; it is your duty ( and also your entitlement as a human being) to find something beautiful within life, no matter how slight."

"You should never give yourself a chance to fall apart because, when you do, it becomes a tendency and it happens over and over again. You must practice staying strong, instead." -Elizabeth's Guru

"I will not harbor unhealthy thoughts anymore..."

"Tell the truth, tell the truth, tell the truth."

Operation Big and Sexy Dream

So what exactly is "Operation Big and Sexy Dream?" Well, it's an attempt to lose weight, get in shape, and stay that way. I weighed myself in February and my weight was 192. Weighed myself again on April 16th and I was 190. I weighed myself on May 2nd and I was 186. So slowly but surely I'm losing the weight. This babysitting job has definitely helped me. I found that when I was at home. I would mindlessly eat and snack. I also discovered that when I'm at somebody else's house, I feel guilty if I eat all their food, so I just limit myself and bring my own lunch. It helps me keep a tab on how much I eat.

I'm also looking at what I'm eating. I don't mean just staring at the food on my plate and watch it as it approaches my drooling mouth. What I mean is looking at the Nutrition Facts and comparing foods especially if their frozen. It's not bad to buy frozen food, you just gotta watch and look at what your eating. Compare different brands and different alternatives, because they are out there. Granted some might be more expensive and if money is an issue than go on to the next food and don't bother. I ask myself, "Do I really wanna put that in my body?"

Another approach I'm taking with weight loss is giving myself some room for failure. Not so much failure as it is wiggle room. I know for a fact that I will cave into those delicious Cool Ranch Doritos, especially if they are on sale. So I just go with it instead of setting myself up for failure. Although I am still careful when it comes to treating myself...or at least I try.

I love and enjoy food so I'm not gonna go on those rice cake snacks or those diets that are so restrictive and pointless because I know I'm not gonna follow it. Instead, like it's been said before, a healthy well balanced diet with exercise is what I'm going for. I believe I can enjoy good food and still be able to be healthy and in shape. After all, don't food critics do it all the time. It's all about moderation and balance (That is so easier said then done).

So my goal is to lose 10 pounds. I'm breaking it down into smaller goals. I'm already down by 6 pounds. That's not too bad. Plus, I wasn't obsessing over it. Bam! I try to weigh myself once a week or so.

I've been doing short 18 minute workouts at work while the kids are napping. I put aside certain days to workout. Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. I'll be honest... it's hard to do it on Saturday because that's the only day I really get to sleep in. I'm still working out the kinks until I find the rhythm.

Sam has been wanting to get a gym membership. We have been looking at YMCA because it would suit both of us. I would have to do dance, Zumba or some sort of class. He also thinks it's sexy to go work out together which is 'cause we can check each other out while lifting those weights or doing those squats. Puts a new perspective on "Gettin' low." Oh yeah, baby!

Motivation [moh-tuh-vey-shuhn]

Motivation is a funny word. It's a noun, an adjective and I like to think of it as a verb. This supposed force that pushes us along in whatever it is that we do. Getting up and going to work, exercising, relationships, and, yes, living. It can be there one day and gone the next. Some people are good at it, some...not so much. Motivation can be monetary or just a good feeling.

Yet as funny as motivation is, it is one of the hardest things I struggle with. Maybe I'm not finding the right kind of motivation. Wait...there's no "maybe" about it. It's also hard to keep that motivation going. I understand I'm not the only one suffering from the lack of this "supposed force" but it's there and I need to deal with it. It's like those zits that come up every now and again. It's not like it happens 24/7 but when it happens, it's there, it's obvious, it's in my face (I guess more technically on my face if they are zits) and it's annoying.

So what do I do? I've heard different things. I've done a motivational board, I've done the reward system, I've done/am doing (...trying...) Sparkpeople. Okay that's only 4 things so I guess I haven't tried everything. There is something I have been wanting to try. I want to take a picture of myself. Not just a head shot or in something that will flatter my figure. But a picture that will help me wake me up (or "wak up" as Leah liked to say it back in the day)and see that I need to lose it. I'm just not the same person I was 2-3 years ago not even 4 years, but I can spend all this time and energy tryin' to figure it out instead of doing something about it. I don't want this to sound empty and unpromising. There's so much that I want right now. Losing weight and getting healthy isn't the only thing I have a lack of motivation in, it's a core to a lot of my other problems. I just need to be patient and persistent.