Pictures, finally!

I know I've been kinda bad about getting pictures up here. So here are some.


Lilly getting ready for bed....She's not always that good. :~)


We made homemade cookies and decorated them this year. I made one of Patrick from Spongebob. Sam is now about to take a bit out of him.

This is me smiling.

Somebody loves her daddy.

Sam and me waiting outside of Red Lobster.

Last night I went over to Kim's house (Sam's sister) with Annie (Sam's other sister) and we watched "The Help." When I got home, I walked into the living area and this is what I saw:

Can you guess who was sleeping soundly in her little daddy-made fort? Yup!


Apparently, Sam was trying to get her to go to sleep in her crib but she wouldn't have it. So he built her a little sleeping fort and she fell asleep. Don't worry she didn't sleep there the rest of the night. I put her back in her crib.

There are more to come, it's just a matter of organizing them at this time.

Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck

I have gone back to my classics list. I read "Of Mice and Men" by John Steinbeck over the holidays. Actually, since it was such a short read it was more of like one day. This book is particularly interesting as it was a book I had read in high school. Since I am LDS, this book had a lot of cursing in it and at that time I had a problem with it. I also look back at how I never did understand this book as well as I do now. I find it fascinating at how much you can get from a book depending on your age and maturity. It was such a short read I finished it pretty quickly. I was still astounded at the cursing in it but it's not like it had the F word in it. I've definitely seen worse on TV and in the movies. I can also read it with a more mature mindset.

I really rather enjoyed that it was so short. Even though the length was short (especially as I had only read one other John Steinbeck book and that was "Grapes of Wrath") it had a lot in it. The journey of 2 men working hard in the fields for someone else yet still dreaming of owning their own farms someday, and to make sure there are plenty of rabbits for Lenny. I find George's character particularly intriguing. He was a good friend to Lenny and his intentions were good. He is such a loyal friend for staying with Lenny and helping him out. Yet, in the end, he is the one that seals Lenny's inevitable fate. At least it was by the hand of his friend and not by an angry mob.

My heart goes out to Lenny. He was born in a time where his uniqueness was not understood and people were afraid of that. His physical strength gets ahead of him in his childlike manner, which causes him trouble. I can hardly imagine what it must've been like for people similar to Lenny to live in that era.

Steinbeck does such a great job with symbolism and foreshadow. He also brings to life the way life was back during the Great Depression. I'm always impressed with the dialogue and how you can put an accent with words. I understand a lot more now than when I read it in high school.

What we did for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Everyday

Christmas and Thanksgiving were wonderful this year. We truly have been blessed by Heavenly Father. We stayed in town for both holidays. On Thanksgiving, my in-laws went to Missouri so we had the house to ourselves. We had Sam's sister, Annie, and his brother, Josh, over for Thanksgiving dinner. After dinner, we played the longest game of Mario Party ever. It took us almost 3 1/2 hours to finish. But we had fun doing so. There was so much to be thankful for this year! I am so blessed with such wonderful in-laws for putting up with us. I am also so blessed that both Sam and I are employed. I am grateful for my family, even though they are far away. I'm grateful for our wonderful daughter and our health not to mention both our cars work (for now).

We were able to enjoy Christmas early as Sam's sister, Kim and her family came over, as well as Josh and Annie. We opened presents. At first I wanted to wait until Christmas morning because I love that anticipation and waiting but I bent to the pressure and joined in. Plus we all were there as a family. I think I watched "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" (Jim Carrey version) a hundred times and still didn't get sick of watching it.

I turned 26 in December and had a great birthday. I have gotten accepted to Boise State University for the fall of 2012. I am currently still in process in applying for financial aid and other college necessities but I'm getting closer to going back to school and finishing. I'm looking at getting a Bachelor's in English with an emphasis in writing.

Lilly turned 2 in October. She is such a good kid! Her words constantly expand everyday. I know she learns when she's with Anna and Joseph (The kids I babysit). She is a toddler and I can hard believe it. When I'm upset, frustrated, or angry, she'll say, "Hello?" and keep saying it until I say hello back. Then she'll smile at me and say, "I'm happy!" That gets me to smile every time. Sometimes it gets annoying only because it's like I can't stay mad at her. When she tries hard at something and succeeds, she'll come up to me and say, "I did it! I did it!" In the morning when she wakes up and Sam and I are still in bed, she'll yell out, "Mommy! Mommy!" or "Daddy! Daddy!"

She loves to come shopping with me, especially to Costco. Her favorite place to go is in the dairy section where it's a room and it's cold. You walk into the room and there's a blast of cold air. She loves that. She'll shiver and say, "It's cold!" When it's time to check out, she'll sit patiently in the cart as I pay for the goods. When I'm done with that and we reunite, she smiles, holds out her arms and says, "Mommy!" Then we hug! She's so cute and I love her.

Sam is still working at Stevens-Henegar as a teacher. They've given him 2-3 classes every term. He's also been working on some freelance projects. His expertise with computers are so impressive and he's a natural at it. He and Wade Towne had done a pilot for a series called "The Helpdesk" and it's been picked up by a TV channel on cable. They've also got an invitation to be a part of a film festival. That's pretty exciting! Here is the short:



This new year is already starting great! We might have found an apartment that fits our needs and financial budget. We are super excited! Especially me. It's been over 1 1/2 years since we have been on our own. I am so excited! I've been working on being more positive. It has a big affect on me. I feel the days go by faster and my attitude is better. Granted, I still have my bad days. My patience with the kids is longer and I'm not so uptight.

I've also been challenging myself with writing more. I've started doing some volunteer work at Horizon Hospice with a man named John Viehwieg. He records interviews with patients and then he gives them to me to transcribe them. I love doing it! I love hearing the stories and being able to be a part of that project. I'm also trying to get more immersed in the writing community in Boise.

Well that's the update of our little family here in Boise. We are suppose to hear more about our apartment this week so I will keep that updated.

A new year, a new you right? Riiiight...

It's a new year, time for new resolutions blah blah blah. I'm to a point where I'm not calling my goals "new year's resolutions" as if I know by calling them that I know they are bound to fail. I've thought about relaunching OBSD but by doing so I would be saying that I didn't accomplish anything and that would be a lie. During the time I started OBSD or even through the whole year, I have been successful at not gaining any significant weight. And I am taking that as a victory! I still fluctuate between two and three pounds. I am particularly proud of the control I've been able to exert throughout the holidays. I was proud that I didn't overindulge. Granted I did have chocolate, that was a given but I did exert control...and my stomach was acting funky but still.

I've decided to keep with OBSD but do some fine tuning. When I started OBSD, my intentions were genuine and wanted. I was ready to take on this mission with my "Bond" pen that had all sorts of gadgets and agent-like abilities that would help me soar to my goal. However, after a while I realized that I was going into this with just a regular pen whose only gadget was a clicking mechanism to retract the tip and my agent-like abilities left somewhat to be desired. But I came across a quote:

(the small print says "Carl Bard")

The goals that I have chosen are small and I'm only choosing 10. I plan on choosing the same number of goals each month. Some will be different, some will be the same. Some of these goals are habits I want to get back into. So my hope is that I make some of these goals habits then once they become a habit, I can move on to the next goal. Instead of looking/making my goals as this great Leviathan, I've decided to take baby steps and slowly filling the voids in my life. This is how I'm breaking down my goals:

Spiritual: 3 Goals
Mental: 3 Goals
Physical: 3 Goals
Talent: 1 Goal


What are my goals for the month of January? Well, I've created a calendar to help me keep track as well as a list of my goals for the month. Each month I will create a new one, forcing me to make a change every month. These are the goals I have chosen:

Spiritual:
1. Being Positive
2. Saying Prayers
3. Reading Scriptures

Mental:
1. Blog
2. Expand Vocabulary (Word of the Day)
3. Yoga

Physical:
1. Walk for 30 minutes
2. Yoga
3. Sit-ups, 2 sets of 20

Talent:
1. Drawing

These are my goals for January.

The Help by Kathrynn Stockett

I went on a vacation with my sisters, aunt and mom. My mom bought me a book to read on the driving trip but I get sick when I read in the car and I was too busy having fun to read it on the vacation so I read it a different time. I was so grateful my mom got me this book. It's called "The Help" by Kathryn Stockett. I had heard about it every once in a while and even heard that it was becoming a movie but I had no idea what it was about. Which made it more exciting to read. Of course I read the back of the book and the synopsis. It is a story about change in the 1960s. A time I was defiantly not a part of but only learned about in history class.

I finished the book at the end of August this year. It was one of those books where I read it at work whenever I had a free moment or the kids were just playing. It was an amazing book! This book takes place in Jackson, Mississippi in the 1960s. It tells of how three women changed the dynamics between the white folk and the black folk during this time in our U.S. history. How you ask? Well by telling it how it is. A brave writer named Skeeter complies interviews of the black help on how it is/was to work for white people. Skeeter could not have done this without the help of Aibileen and Minny.

I thought the time that it was set in was timely. I never lived in the '60s but this gave a good representation. The depiction of the 60's was portrayed through the eyes of two black women, Aibileen and Minny, and one white woman, Skeeter. So it offered a variant of point of view. The way Stockett used first person in the book made it very real. Especially when Aibileen and Minny talked. You can almost hear that thick southern accent. It's also neat how there is the point of view from Aibileen and the point of view from Minny, two women of similarity yet different enough to let their personalities show.

I especially loved Skeeter's character, the white woman that "talks." She aspires to write therefore I am naturally drawn to her. The villain, Hilly, is portrayed as a classic '60s wife who is beyond racist, manipulative, and judgmental. She fully deserves to get a lawn full of toilets.

By reading this book and getting acquainted with the characters, it makes you wonder which character would you be. The judgmental Hilly, the concerned Skeeter, the follow-the-crowd Miss Leefolt, the drunken Miss Celia, don't-care-what-you-think Minny, or the loyal Aibileen. I am anxiously awaiting to see the movie and hoping not to be disappointed.

A Healthy Dose of Realization

Here are some syringes. These syringes represent doses of realization that life hands out to you on occasion. The dose that I have been given in the past month has been the syringe farthest to your left.

It absolutely sucks when realization hits you in the face, punches you in the stomach, stomps on your foot, and smacks you across the head. Operation Big and Sexy Dream is much bigger than I had anticipated. So much to work on but I have started, and that's what matters. I am going to abbreviate Operation Big and Sexy Dream into OBSD. It sounds like the latest in recreational drugs but it's to long to spell out all the time.

I have not realized how far gone I've let myself. It's like going into a house that you've never been to, with an expectation that you have to clean it. But when you go in, it's like walking into one of those houses on "Hoarders." The job is WAY bigger than you expected! I've got so much work to do physically, spiritually, and mentally. I have thought about doing a video journal. I have done all sorts of journals but never a video journal. It would definitely get me out of my comfort zone and insecurities. We'll see though.

As hard as those realizations have been, OBSD has been going along great these past couple months. I have gotten done with my 2nd week of doing yoga at the YMCA. I go every Monday and Wednesday at 7:00 pm. It works great because Sam is here to watch Lilly. Also, I have to manage how much I eat for dinner when I get off work (which is at 5:00 pm), because I can't do yoga on a full stomach. On Tuesday and Thursday, I go walking with my friend Natalee. We meet at the church, which is walking distance from the house, and we go walking. Where we live there are a lot of hills so we can get a pretty good workout. I bring Lilly with me in a stroller and she does great! Although this past week I skipped one day with walking and yoga because of 4th of July and the Relief Society Party.

These walks with my friend are doing a great job. I'm noticing a definite difference physically and mentally. Although I've had a cold the past few days, I still feel pretty good. I've been going to bed at 11:00 pm give or take a few minutes. With my new schedule I've been eating better. My legs are a lot stronger too. I've been drinking lots of water. I have gotten some sweetener for my water, because after drinking it so much all day, it gets old. The sweetener I use has low calories, zero sugar, and tastes really good.

Although, walking and yoga have helped greatly, I've decided that doing these things isn't enough. Especially because most of my problem (physically) seems to be my lovely midsection. I've been stretching, breathing, and cardio but nothing with my abs. Granted I do get s little work on them during yoga but not enough to where I feel it. I'm just not sure as to how much I can keep doing. I mean with the schedule I have. My days seem full. I guess I could do ab work on Saturday. But that's the only day I get to sleep in. Sacrifice. What am I willing to give up for this mission? How important is it to me?

I need to adjust my goals. I need to focus on my stomach and how I would like to look instead of monitoring my weight. It sounds kind of shallow but it's true. I'm pretty happy with the rest of my body except my stomach. I mean, I still want to get healthy again. The thought of being able to walk around with 70 less pounds sounds levitating. I definitely think that keeping tabs on my weight is important but I have been basing results on that alone. I find myself caring more about how I look passing a mirror as opposed to weighing myself every day. I'm not even making it a goal to fit inside a size 7 pair of pants. The last time I fit into a single digit pair of pants was when I was in middle school. So that kind of goal is unrealistic to me.

OBSD isn't just about losing the weight. I want something more for myself. To have big dreams and the ability to have the confidence and faith to do whatever it is I want to do. I'm not saying the life I have right now is horrible. I love being married to Sam and having Lilly as my daughter. I have always wanted a career. I had always thought I'd have one before I got married and started having kids. I'm doing things out of order and I just need to go with it.

I want to be sexy again, espeically with the knowledge that I now know. as well as experience. I want to do it for my children, for Sam, and myself. I am just not happy where I am right now. I know I need to be content with what I have but it's just difficult and irritating when I want to progress, I want to move on but I feel I'm being held back.

Etabpu (Update spelled backwards)

.... I can almost taste it too! Only about moving out and not solving a crime about a peanut. (That clip is what I thought about when I first started writing this post. Can't help it, I love Spongebob). We are hoping to be moving out in the next month or so. Sam has an interview with a talent producer (I think that's what he's called) this week. He wanted to interview Sam for some projects that this man is doing. I know Sam will do great! He is also getting more hours at Stevens-Henegar College. Sam is almost done with the pilot for "The Helpdesk," a series him and Wade Towne are hoping to get to the big haunchos in Hollywood.

I have still been babysitting the kids. As hard as it is some days to be with kids all day, it's still nice to have a job. Plus, they all have runny noses so I feel like I'm wiping noses every minute. But it is better than 6 kids. It's also a great job because I can write. I have been having ideas come to me more frequently now. I am trying to write more on Examiner.com but haven't been successful at that so far, because I am burnt out at the end of the day. I also lost my food journal and have not found it...it's got to be somewhere.

Lilly is acting like a toddler. She has so much energy and her words are growing. She is soo cute and her personality brightens my day. Sometimes, though, she does throw in a tantrum. She runs around a lot talking her own language. She loves being with Anna and Joe-Jo (the kids I babysit). She can even say their names. She is also doing pretty well with potty training. We started introducing her when she was 18 months. We do it after she wakes up in the morning, naptime, and before bedtime. She is doing pretty good actually. She usually goes pee in the morning. We are just taking it as it comes. She hasn't pooped or anything, and that's the stuff I'm nervous about. Just because I am not looking forward to those accidents. But it will be great when she is fully potty trained. She is such an amazing child!

We have taken care of the cars for the most part. We were able to get the Tercel fixed and no more smoking, Hooray! The Escort passed emissions, even though Sam kinda cheated, but it beats having to do a $300 car repair. I am grateful that they still work. That's it for now!